Can A Leopard Change Their Spots?
Do you believe in sterotypes? One thing I do know, is my father (whom I've never met) is from Haiti, my mother is from Puerto Rico. I have passion running through my veins. A never- ending obstacle of manipulating, molding and controlling my roller coaster of emotions and inspirations. I give without regret, or restraint. If I feel a kinship to you, you become my Coven of Conspirators- I will have a never ending love for you.
I know many so many have a discouraging pattern. Some people have it in their nature to love without limits and ironically impede the pathways of self-love. The more they love another, it seems, the less they are able to love themselves. I've never been that way. I was born emotionally dissonant, and instead of seeking love from others, even family: I created a world for myself. I played in my grandparent's vast garden and hid treasures for myself to find. I created grimoires to keep my dreams and conjure spells. I had a chosen group of kids from the neighborhood, made myself the leader and led us on various paths: whether it was "Earth Club" or "Black Ninjas." (where we all dressed in black, snuck out, and tried building our fighting skills: with each other.) Yeah. I know. Weird. Anyway, I've always created a world for myself and other people that view the world with varyingly odd perspectives
Along with many other things in life, introspection and inner evolution taught me an invaluable lesson in caring for myself.
One day years ago, In Austin, TX at SXSW, I lost the girlfriend I was with, went into a bar: faked a British accent and made up a story to a guy I was talking to that I was dying in a year. It was great. 1: I learned if I had an accent I could get as many drinks as I want for free, but two: What if I WAS dying in a year? What would I be most proud of? What would I want to look back on and change? Who would I want to become? What negative facets about my being would I want to change? Can a leopard change their spots? I realized, amid so many levels of myself, I hid personal insecurities. They were shrouded by a veil of self-imposed doubt. Which, I immediately worked to remove.
Through daily efforts, I am able to live with a sense of self worth and freedom.
Here's some daily mantras-
Put yourself first (There lies the beauty in sacrifice)
Say I love you more
Do something you love each day.
Manifest your own creativity
The thing is, I never want to change my spots. The things that make me unique and genuine. I'll never be the girl that doesn't create her own personal amusement, has a bit of mischief. I've learned to love myself, exactly how I am. Life is just more fun that way.
xx - Jess
Leopard Coat: Sanctuary
Blouse: Top Shop
Jeans: Urban Outfitters
Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell
Hat: Goodwill Industries
photography by Stephanie Parsley